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Dating Advice From the Shopping Basket

bomb shelter bro

People are judging you everywhere you go. Do you have visible panty lines? Are you paying for that in all pennies? Who actually wears those shoes with individual toes?

You’d think in a world full of judgment, that at least the supermarket would be a safe place, but it isn’t. People are peering into your basket left and right and scoffing at your Muscle Milk or chocolate-covered edamame. You can tell a lot about a person based on what is in their grocery basket. I’m not sure what it says about me, but sometimes I look down at my own basket and all I see is various cheese products. While my basket clearly communicates that I like coagulated milk, most baskets tell more of a story about those who carry them. Here’s some baskets and their owners to avoid:

Bomb Shelter Bro (see photo above) – It’s good to date a planner, but dating someone who is always preparing for the next apocalypse is just a bad plan. A good test to know if they’re for you, is to picture them eating canned baby corn. If you’re still attracted to them, then you’re on your own on this one. Read more…

The Day | A Dating Place

afternoon kiss (close-up), BroadwayMichelle Rick

Good morning, East Village.

When you think all the good ones are taken, try looking in your own backyard. That’s right East Villagers, our neighborhood ranks as the number one place for dating in New York City — or at least according to the online dating site, HowAboutWe. The Village Voice reported the findings earlier this week, noting that Webster Hall and the Strand top the list of local hotspots.

Of course there are other reasons for coming to the East Village, as we’ve seen each year with the so-called Crusties; but now it seems some of these annual squatters are not getting a warm welcome from the authorities, according to Andrea Stella, executive director of The Space at Tompkins.

But that’s not all that’s changing this summer. Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York shares photos from East Villager Andrea Legge, who lives in the building next to Mars Bar; both buildings will be bulldozed by the end of August.

An East Village Mix Tape

In 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, wrote a book called “The 5 Love Languages.” In this perennial Times bestseller, all ways humans show love for one another are divided into five key categories: Words of Affirmation (“Is that a new dress, you look great and I love you”), Quality Time (watching True Blood together), Receiving Gifts (other than just on your birthday), Acts of Service (doing the dishes), and Physical Touch (….). So as a single lady I’ve been thinking a lot about how I show affection and like to receive affection.

Admittedly, I too like girly things like receiving flowers and handholding, but the more I think about it, the more I think Dr. Chapman forgot to include a sixth love language; the mixtape.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the 90’s when tape recorders were all the rage, and one would spend hours personalizing a cassette case for that special someone. But I can’t think of a better way to communicate one’s love for another person other than through a Stevie Nicks song. Or a Mr. Big Song. Or for those not living in the 80’s, a Bright Eyes song.

Making a good mix is an art form. Getting the flow just right can take hours. But when you hit the right notes, it can set the mood, and score you major points. I’ve never been cool enough to hang out in record stores, I’m more of library dweller, but for this assignment I went to the source. This past Saturday, I parked outside three local record stores and asked East Villagers what songs they would put on their ultimate mixtape for someone they cared about. *

Check out the playlist they came up with.

A Few Words Of Dating Wisdom

Two years ago, Dave Ahdoot and his childhood friend Ethan Fixell (who together form comedy duo Dave and Ethan) went on a “man date” that was so much fun it got them wondering “why don’t we take girls on something like this?” They put an ad on Craigslist and linked it to a YouTube video asking for submissions for pairs of girls wanting to go on a double dates.

Thousands of responses and more than 200 double dates later, the pair have become dating experts and gained a wealth of knowledge about what to do, and more importantly what not to do on a date. Some of their filmed double dates have been made into a YouTube video series.

The response to the series led to monthly performances at The Peoples Improv Theater, re-enacting some of the dates, singing songs about first date fouls and even conducting spur of the moment dates live on stage. Recognizing that college students need their instruction the most, Dave and Ethan have started touring college campuses across the nation imparting their wisdom into the porous minds of today’s youth. In 2011 alone, they are scheduled to perform at more than 50 colleges and as long as people date, there seems no sign of a slowing demand for this kind of expert advice.

I sat down with Dave Ahdoot, until recently an East Village resident, to get some tips and play some games.

Allison Hertzberg is owner and head designer at Accessories by ASH.