Tim Schreier

Would-be messages from the East Village, in 140 characters or less.

Consumer

Noodles, nails, hair, massage, hookahs, bank, vintage,
tattoos, tacos, bar, bank, espresso, antiquities, massage,
hair, nails, noodles

Sour Ginsberg

I saw the best minds of my generation staring into
iPhones flipping thru texts & tweets & pics ordering
ramen on Ave. A

Winter Doggerel

The hedgehog has seen its shadow. Snow was welcome,
but now must go. Birds must sing and leaves come out.
That’s what I’m talking about!

East Village Blues

He would like to have a big, noble, devoted dog, who
would wait for him patiently outside cafes and stores,
but his apartment is too small

Spring Awaits Them

Winter: The girls with the tattooed limbs have
undergone a double hibernation: not just of
flesh, but of ink

Astor Place

Mr. Li is a Personal Banker but it is against corporate
policy to keep personal items on his desk. His cubicle
must be kept impersonal.

…Soon he will be transferred to another branch of the
same bank, far uptown, and we will never see him again.
Goodbye, Mr. Li!

Angels In the Airshaft

OMG OMG OMG OMG that is so funny… ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha OMG OMG OMG OM… did he really? that is
so… ha ha ha ha ha ha funny

Together Through Life

On the other side of the bathroom mirror he hears his
neighbor of 20 yrs gargle & spit. Thru the bedroom wall
he hears him groan and snore

Roku

Jobless, he sleeps by day and streams French movies on
Netflix all night. If he were a cat, which he should be,
everything would be A-OK

Bourgeois

Panting, the super arrives with (yet again) the wrong
part, the incorrect screw. To save face, we discuss his
recent trip to Paris & tip $5

Geography

Broadway marks the outer limit of the East Village. One
block over, on University Place, the real money begins