Daniel Maurer Toys we’ve had to fetch at Stuyvesant Station
over time.

Food stamps aren’t the only thing compromised post-Sandy: regular stamps are hard to come by, as well. This morning, while picking up a package at Peter Stuyvesant Station we noticed a sign informing customers that the walk-up windows were closed because Internet service was down. The line for the package pick-up window, meanwhile, was long as ever: 10 people strong.

That got us to thinking about how the 14th Street Post Office branch has a one-star rating on Yelp. Yes, that’s a solid star and a half less than Guy Fieri’s joint, and some of the criticism of Stuyvesant Station reads like it came out of this week’s Times review. Here now, some choice excerpts.

“Guys, I think I did. I found the mouth of hell — it’s hear, between First and A, in the Peter Stuyvesant Post Office. I literally want to cry when I get one of those package slips, cursing my aunt for thinking of me and sending a care pack.” –Tracy W.

“Today’s experience was the ultimate trifecta of pure hell: long line, crying baby, and senile old lady yammering and complaining throughout my wait.” —Marina K.

“EVERYONE WHO WORKS HERE HATES YOU. THEY HATE LIFE. ALL THEY WANT IS TO SPREAD THE DARKNESS.” —Chris B.

“A fecal-stained living nightmare that closely resembles my idea of hell.” —Siv P.

“Guaranteed to sap your will to live and make you hate the universe in its entirety.” —b m.

“When you walk in here you feel like you want to die.” —Marie N.

“Why do they even have a phone number?” —Lauren D.

“Bring a book, or better yet, calming massage oils. You’ll need it.” —Kaitlin K.

“I’ve waited for over an hour. BRING A BOOK. Or maybe a burrito. Something.” —Nada O.

“If you are picking up a package… take a book… or two…” —Mischa A.

“I would really appreaciate if the staff could b more polite, mannered, and think twice before they act like a whole bunch of barbarians.” —Kiwi Q.

“I don’t think it’s a stretch to say they do the bare minimum to deliver mail or packages.” —Douglas C.

“I get anxiety every time I set foot in this place. The people behind that dirty plexiglass window are some of the rudest people i’ve ever encountered EVERY time I go in there.” —Nicole L.

“This is my local post office and boy, it sucks… The line was, no joke, 30 people deep on a Saturday afternoon. On another occasion, a pregnant woman fainted while in line.” —Irene H.

“Just awful. Today was the last straw, as I was sent away from the window twice for not having correctly filled out the confusing, archaic forms needed to send a certified letter with return receipt.” —Bradley T.

“Oh good lord, please take your mail elsewhere. Believe me, you’ll thank me!… They just do as little as possible and give you attitude if you ask ANY questions. It’s like the postal version of the soup nazi.” —Lisa G.

“Now I know why they have bullet proof windows. they have more security than a bank. Ever wonder why?” —Monica Y.

“We moved out of 526 E 20th Street almost 25 years ago and see that Peter Stuyvesant Station is still the same piece of trash as when we used it… Hopefully the bulletproof glass is still in place to protect the pitiful losers staffing it.” —Robert L.

“Wow! This place is a nightmare… These people can’t find their @$$es with both hands.” —Fallopia T.

“AVOID. AVOID. AVOID.  this is by far the worst post office i have ever been to. on average be prepared to wait an hour on whatever you do. this is hell on earth.” —Carolina V.

“What to expect: long lines, wrong lines, unhelpful employees, apathetic managers, empty stamp machines, constantly changing hours and more mysterious smells than a petting zoo.” —Doug B.

“If I could retrieve all the hours that have been wasted trying to find out what happened to missing packages and standing on line at Dante’s Inferno (aka Stuyvesant Post Office), I would be a good year younger.” —Roxy R.

“The worst – filthy, slow, help is usually overworked and indifferent.” —Rob N.

“The only reason I go is because all my packages go there.  It is the most difficult experience ever.” —Richard L.

“Hell on earth.” —E.M.